It's not on the surface. It's deeper than I expected. It's a calm that I am now afraid of.
The first few times I liked it.
I looked for it, kept wanting the edge to come back. I know the edge, it's comfortable. It's where I lived.
Now, I can't decide. Calm or storm?
Or is this the fabled eye?
I want the edge, I think. The cut doesn't go as deep.
It wasn't hard to go back. I just had to know how far. It was just beyond the edge of my previous sight. I was standing at the point where I could see only so far. I could see into the loop that I was such in. I wanted the beauty in front of me to be mine, it would have been my escape.
Now, the beautiful things are still there, just not as bright. I can see beyond and into the next step. The switch had been turned and it doesn't open anything for you. You'll have to find your own struggle, your own way.
This is a dictated post. I'm actually speaking this out loud, so my thoughts tend to be a little more coherent concise consensus. Paragraph.
So now I know how to indent, and Things Can Fly.
So the two became one. And when you take the two apart, they are not the same. Putting them back together only makes the roof more noticeable.
You greet the barrier with a firm resolve to ingraine every shard into your memory, not just your flesh.
The times you were less than.
The broken fragments you caused.
Promises broken.
Time slows as you watch the first lines of fracture creep from the point where there was a final disagreement, over who could occupy the space. You won.
Congratulations. Now. ..
Comes the rebuttal. Razor sharp and the pain doesn't register. At first.
It will be there later. This, you already knew.
Not like it was the first time. That was different. That one left no scars.
The fracture grows and you smile inside, and out. Because you know that this will serve to keep you from harm. Not being harmed, not harming. Not being the one to drag them down with you.
Only you can survive this decent. The curse was cast on you and alone. It will never lift, only down. Only the ones closest. So, scar and rant, persist to be more than can be handled. And at the bottom, greet the barrier once again, and you will win.
