Kick me in the Teeth

Makes me sick to only be able to look at what I want to do.  Just get up in the night, and work on it.  The physical manifestation of my delusional dreams.  That I only get to look at what others do and remember that I once had my dream in stark reality.  A shop space that most guys who knew me then would kick in someones teeth to get.  I gave this up.  My dream then became a nightmare...a savage frothing demon that I had to wrestle with to pay the bills.  I knew I wanted a shop...just not be a business man. 
Now I search the "magical" world of on-line and look at the dedication of others...
Just kick in my fuckin teeth. 
If you read this and think that you can understand...don't ever read another word I write...go out, do your deeds and strap a belt across the demon that sits in the back of your mind, waiting, panting, gasping for the air and blood and sweat you have to give to make that dream live.  Give it everything you have, everything that you can beg, borrow or steal.  Push it out into the world like a screaming child.  Give it all.  Never look at what others are doing and if someone tells you.."I'd do this if I were you..."  Tell them "Fuck, go try it yourself." 
Yeah, don't let it go away.  You cry like hell when you realize you didn't try everything. 

I'll still build. Always will.  I love the sight of blood on a grease covered hand. 

Just make sure it's yours.

Just teasing me is so wrong...

I can't stop thinking that one day I'll be there.  Feeling the sense of completion that I long for.  The last thing crossed of the list, the tools put away, the gas topped off...
Ah, hell...life get in my way, I lose my focus, the late nights finally catch up to you, the money runs out, the kid needs stitches (not my fault), the wife is pregnant (my fault)(but, I'll enjoy that one), the car breaks...well, so what?  Should that concern me?  My focus is on the bike.  Leave the car to the mechanic.  No, the other mechanic, the one who I pay to do the work that I really don't want to.  I want my bike...
But, one step forward is one step forward...don't think that a step in another direction is a step back...you can never go back.

When each day starts

You wake up and see that the sun is still not there.  You realize that you have nothing to make you get out of the comfort of your bed.  Well, nothing that pushes with enough force to break the dream bonds that we feel hold us to another world in which we are kings, heroes, villains, ants, women or men.  It never seems that the "real" world holds up.
So, what if it did?  What is it about a single determination to be something and sacrifice even sleep to get it?  You become something more.  Something that others dream about.  You become an achiever.  A doer.  You finally have something from the dream world that is real.  Whether its running a marathon, building a boat, writing a book....
You must believe that your dream can be real. A dream is what got Dorthy over the freaking rainbow.  A her little dog too...