You take it all

So, who wants the good without the bad?  It's the bad that defines us.

We are the sum of all things in our lives.  The wanting, the lack of patience...
The wanting.
Yeah, we all want.  The beautiful partner, the riches, the fame and glory.  Some want to have the lack thereof.
We all want and expect.  How can we hope to have it all if we don't risk something

It must be that something is lost before something can be gained.  What are you willing to lose to gain?

Love, money, an arm, your sanity.  The H.P. Lovecraft mythos stated this is a very elegant way.
To gain the knowledge of the Old Ones, you lost your sanity.  Humans aren't able to process the concepts. 

So, what more do I give up?  What have I already lost to be where I am and can I grasp what I have already?  Can any of us?  What would I give up for one more time of Therapy?  Could I be that patient?  Will the opportunity be there for me?  Would I give up Therapy for something less?
Fuck me no!!!

I will never forget where I am going and how I want to get there.  No one should give up their journey.  The low parts of the road are where we are forged and that, that is who we truly are, the low parts.

Delusional

It's the times that we allow ourselves to be delusional that we are truly crazy.
Thinking that others really enjoy your company when it's the being alone that you prevent.
We bring the slow death of 'happiness'.
We learn that we all will die alone and being lonely is just a fear.

Isn't the constant dull pain better than the sharp jab in the back?
You can live with the constant and every now and then it fades. The trick is not forgetting that the pain is never far away.

When you know better

When your gut talks to you and is louder than the voice in the rest of your body, it's not hunger.

We all need to learn to not be stupid. Watch for social cues and trust yourself. Otherwise you are an idiot.

How you hold me

It's how you hold me.

The feeling of being connected. The roughness of the road and the softness of you. Feeling the breathe I take and sharing the lean. Edging towards something that I long for and desire above all else.

That giant smack of realization that this is it. This is my drive and my craving.

Being one. Pick it up, slow it down. We agree to go together. I feel my smile and see the shadows flick by as a bird's shadow keeps pace.

Gotta get my head checked.

Why do I let other life get in my way? Why do any of us?

Just pick your poison and drink it down. Feel the burn as it takes all else away. It'll kill the rest of the things that burden you. It'll define you. What you are not can be used to tell the world who you are.

Where inside myself is the thing that will drive me to be better, and not for others? For me.
I'm ready for the acid burn purification of dedication. Of obsession. Let me be known for singularity.

I need my head checked for those doubts and have them purged. Not just noted, but scorched from the mental landscape of my id and ego.

I will be starting the fire now. The one that will signal to others in the night that I am unafraid of being seen. I will rage on to my goals and beyond.

Intake

I will breathe the fire that comes from my ruin. It will burn out my flaws and leave me pure.
I will relish the scars that I gather from trying and finding out that I failed, they will show my attempt and resolve.
I will take the laughter of those around me who hear my words because it will tell me they do not think the same way.

Facebook Free

I have removed the dreaded Facebook from my life. 

Why

Why believe if it isn't real?
Why care if it doesn't matter?
Nothing remains, it all changes.
No one stays, they all move.
So, move. Become the motion and don't look back. Be faster. Mock the wind and sky. Be the force that others chase and covet.
Be of one. Connect to yourself and do not reach out. The world will go on without you and never miss a beat.
Every one longs to be remembered and it is not lasting. We are not stars, we are the blackness between. The point of all things ceasing. And it moves. Don't stop. Flow and don't think.
Don't seal the moment or the connection, because there isn't one. We create them for fear of being lost without.
In the vastness of what is, we are not.

You say goodbye, I say expensive

So, the cylinders and the new pistons are on their way to L.A. Sleeve. Which isn't in LA. Go figure.
In the interim, I am starting on the electrical board and wiring. Oh yeah, trying to sell a kidney to fund the next round of parts. Anyone interested?

I'm going to start keeping track of how many times I have to drop the cases into the frame as I need to account for routing and such.

A few people have commented, though not on here, about "original" and "correctness".
Again, I say, get your own and quit your fucking blah blah blah.

Sacrifice yourself

Give yourself to a dream.

See how far you can push things to get what you want.
Give something up to get something else.
Go without.
Beg.
Borrow.
Bleed.
Lose sleep.
Get it the time it needs, but. ..

Never, ever, ever quit. Be the one obsessed. Let them see the fear of failure is gone.

Dream

Dreaming

Why is it, but my dreams don't involve being somewhere? They are about going. Just going.
Sure, there's a destination and such, but the way I get there is what I think the most of.

I've got nothing.

It's funny that I look to this thing as a social outlet.  The amount of people that I know does not equal the number of people that read this thing.

So, the frame was worked on yesterday and that caused an entire stink. Long story that won't get published here. 

But, I will say that corporate mentality is the bane of my life.  I have decided that I don't care for this middle management life that I have found myself wedged into.  No room at the top and nowhere to go.  The feeling of being trapped is the twist in my gut and bile in my throat.  The uppers view me more as a tool than a person and I've started looking for a way out. 

So, here's the rant.
Fuck that guy, the one that wants to politically step down on me and has not a rat-shit idea of what I am, who I am.  He's the one that deserves to be shot, stabbed, drawn and quartered, poisoned, and all while I smile at his fuck-tard of a face. What a shit.  I'm trying to build something and you, you hemorrhoid, what to push your "weight" around just because you make more.  Well, fuck you and your idea. I'm out of this rat trap.  Time to move on.

AC / DC day.

I fixed the case cracks. ..
See? Back to Crack.

Add caption

Buried somewhere in here is an engine dying to get out. 

Crank isn't that bad of a thing

No, not the drug.  My crank.  Gods, you people need help.  Mostly because you spend your time reading this stuff.

So, progress report.  The crank that I got as a replacement is good to go.  The journal measurements are dead on with the manual.  Small miracles if you ask me.  I was expecting a regrind and those aren't cheap.  Anyway, new con-rod bearing in the near future and the jugs....

Man, just fuck me.  I buy a new cylinder set and it's at the bore limit.  Thanks to the dip-shit who sold it on e-bay that didn't, or wouldn't, read a fucking micrometer.  It's not that hard.  Better yet, I can excuse that since he didn't charge that much for it. 

So, I really don't have much to gripe about.  But, you guys know me well enough to realize that I did and will.
Later.

Where it all comes from

So, this is what it looked like when it was born.  Butt-spanking new and ready to thrash the shit out of some poor unsuspecting young Brit.

Now, it changes, like we all do.  Some change is for the better and some is for the worse.  Why make the fuckin distinction?  It's just change.  It happens, it's natural and no I don't give a shit if you like what I do.  It's mine to change and the changes are for me.  You want to see something different?  Get one of your own after a ten year wait and then you can.

But, I rant. So, where does this all come from.  Easy, I made a choice.  It's the easiest thing to do, just accept the consequence. 


On a completely different, topic, comments are being accepted.  Just not ones about the bike and what you'd do differently.

Almost wired up

 

I've used up the last day off that I'll have for a few weeks, this doesn't mean no progress though.  Waking hours not spent at a job are getting dedicated to every available process and detail that I can do with the little funding that I have.  Anyone know a generous hedge fund manager?

I really am having to think this through.

My rant has to do with not having enough. 

Time for a change

I've decided to quit bitching...

Unless something else comes up.  I look around at the work that others do and wonder what part of life did they give up?  For balance in all things, something must be lost for something to be gained.

What am I willing to give up?  Time, sleep, connections with others?  What do I want to gain?

Wanting to sleep

So, I've come this far. 
A hollow husk of a heart that begs to sleep.  Wanting. To. Sleep.
I think that the effort that we give our gods should be placed into things that are real.  Who wants to save all of mankind? Are we worth saving?

I'm just writing now, no real message or purpose. Just words that will someday trip through that ether in another mind that I have no clue.  Well, I do have a purpose.  Just not with these words.

Change of subject.

I like it tight.

Yeah, the frame was 40 thousandths too tight. A Porta power, some heat to 500. Let cool.
Just right.
The days have rolled on and I have realized a depression was vexing me. Fuckin life got in my way. I wasn't motivated to do anything. Well, now the problem is getting the new parts.
Anyone need a kidney?