Loss

Things go away.

Once and always

It's not me you want, it's what I can do for you. It's a service, a skill.
You think it's an expectation. It's not.

magic

How do I compete with a magical life? What do I have to offer that compares? Why s should I try and end in failure?

Maybe

This could be it. Don't get nervous and think of what to do. Lean in, learn, listen,...
Talk back and pay attention, there's only one time you get to make this work.
You didn't see this on anything else. Just life.

Happy for now

double tap

Because you can't get it right. A double doesn't work when you're on your own. There's only the first try, get it right or it doesn't work.
Somethings don't afford a second try.

Outside yourself

There are times that you go outside yourself. Parts of you walk around and leave and become their own thing.
They come back and let you know how life is away from yourself. The struggles you don't know of. The hurt, the happy, the times you do not exist within.

What takes the plan ed that is left? What fills the void? Does it ever not have ragged nerve endings?

Something with B

Booze, bikes, babes. Well, not so much the last one.
Bump in the timing. Breathers that are clogged. Bad shift. Bald tires. Blown lights or fuses.
Boy, I need to be riding.

Why didn't I listen?

I heard the words. I was just wanting to fix it. It didn't matter what the issue was.
Sometimes, not always, you just want someone to listen. Not plan to fix it. Not wait for their turn to talk and give solutions.
Why did I not just listen?
What you are saying was important. But the exact words, but the meaning.

Yes, I have a heart.

It makes me smile to bring something to someone. A little smile.

Best date in a while

She was quiet. Let me do everything.
We talked though. She let me know what was needed.
I listened.

Outside the inner realm

Alone and living it. Never a cool kid, this blog has become something other that what it started.
Not sure if I would/should/could reorder it. Let it become what is to be.
I'll consider it later. Who reads this anyway? No one I know.
And then it walks in and I move to outside. No hurt anymore. No pain. And no joy.

Laceration

It isn't always. It's just when it matters. The things that we hate are mostly within ourselves.
I want to hold something, so I cut all contact. Vague answers when I ask direct and pointed questions.
Fine. I'm fine.
No, no one is a friend when I am a friend to no one.
Screw this.

Slip away

It's gone today, the faith in people.
I won't find another in whom to confide. So why bother? Who is worth the effort?

Things remembered

I finally stalk into you from before. I remember the story that I told everyone, including myself. I try to separate the fact from the fiction. I don't dare look over my shoulder, I know you won't be looking back. It wasn't the glance that I wanted. I wanted the straight ahead look that would dig into me. The me that I want someone else to know, who knew.

The look that you want me to give back, or that I want you to want. That I want someone to want from me.

The rings

It wasn't that they didn't hold, they just didn't hold enough.