Drop out

There is never a moment that I don't have a weightless feeling in my gut lately.  What if I get it wrong again?
How do we as people deal with the massive hammer of life and get back up every time?

I haven't decided how to deal with this latest surge, it is still rolling me over in the surf and I haven't felt like I have a decent breath. It's the knowing that I'll get a chance soon and I know that the pylons are right there.  that's what I get for going so close to the pier.  It's a surfing analogy I know, fuck it. 

How does a riding analogy work?:
Well, I am riding on one cylinder and leaning past the point of traction on my worn out tires and the brakes are glazed.  I keep the throttle right on the edge of chopping.  You know the point.  The tense and sweaty moment of looking past your apex and realizing that your skills aren't at the level you want them.  You hold your breath and keep pushing.  Isn't that the moment that we are supposed to feel alive?  That moment that we find that we excel beyond what we thought we could previously do? 

Yeah, that's where I am.  I have to decide that I'm pushing past and standing the bike back up.  Stick that lean, don't let up, hope and pray that the other cylinder comes back in and that sick bottom of the gut feeling gets to turn into a great story of 'almost' instead of an accident report.

Keep pushing fellow riders.  That bike is life and it's just an analogy.  But, surfing is fun too.